Linkedin Share

"How Do I Forgive Someone Who Shows No Remorse?" (Matthew 6:12)

Linkedin Share

The Beauty of Forgiveness

The core of the gospel message is the forgiveness of sins (Mark 2:1-5; Colossians 1:14; Hebrews 8:12). The high and holy Judge of all the earth justly pardons sinners on the basis of the merits of Jesus Christ.

In love, God the Father sends the Son to reconcile us to Himself who deserve no reconciliation. And, He forgives us freely and completely despite our failure to fully and correctly confess our sins.

As Matt Boswell and Matt Papa wonderfully penned, “What love could remember, No wrongs we have done; Omniscient, all-knowing He counts not their sum!” Forgiveness is not counting trespasses against another (cf. Psalm 32:1-2).

While it may not be possible to forget wrongs done by another, true forgiveness chooses not to count wrongs against another.

Trending:
NFL Pundit and Former Player Roasted for Suggesting Fans Wear Pink Nail Polish to Support Projected No. 1 Pick

But what about the hard cases? What about those unmoved in regret? Or uncaring parents? Perhaps someone who has died? How do we forgive such ones?

Bitterness is like drinking poison and hoping another suffers from it.

Forgive Us Our Debts

Forgiven people forgive people. The root of forgiving sinners, even the worst of sins done to us, is found in Matthew 6:12, “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (ESV).

For the Christian, to withhold forgiveness implies that someone sinning against us is worse than our sinning against the infinitely holy God. We must forgive those who have wronged us.

Jesus even warns us further in Matthew 6:14-15, “but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

John Piper helpfully elaborates for us: “If Jesus said that we should pray that our debts be forgiven, and if one of those debts is a failure to forgive, then the phrase ‘as we forgive our debtors’ cannot be absolutized to imply that only a perfectly forgiving spirit can receive forgiveness from God,” and therefore, “No one who cherishes a grudge against someone dare approach God in search of mercy.”

Meaning, we must pray for the Lord to enable us to forgive, like the prayer of Matthew 6. Christ suffered the most anyone will ever suffer to forgive me; how then can I suffer a comparatively little to truly forgive this person? I need forgiveness for my unforgiving heart.

The log in my own eye is when I ask God to forgive me while I withhold forgiveness from others.

Related:
It's Time for Thinksgiving

Forgiven Our Debtors

How many times must I forgive? Over and over and over, as Jesus spells out in Matthew 18:21-22.

The mark of a Christian is one who grows and continues in a direction of releasing grudges and granting forgiveness. Forgiveness is a heart struggle.

Christians are strangers on this earth. The world keeps a list of wrongs because they do not love. 1 Corinthians 13 says that love does not keep a record of wrongs (13:5, NIV). It is a sin to cling to and withhold forgiveness (Matthew 6:14-15; Matthew 18:34-35; Mark 11:25-26).

Those who are in Christ have a life patterned towards forgiving sinners and forgetting bitterness. How costly is forgiveness? It cost God His infinitely precious Son.

And it will always cost us less to forgive others. As John Piper rightly says, “There are no unforgiving people in the kingdom of God.”

We will never be perfectly forgiving, but we must practice Christ-like forgiveness (cf. 1 John 1:5-9). As you grow in Christ your heart will grow to savor God’s mercy for you and you will grow in your capacity to forgive others.

Ephesians 4:32, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (ESV).

Submit a Correction →



Linkedin Share
Cale is the pastor of Union Baptist Church in Orrick, MO. He is married to his wife Kelly and they have two children (third on the way!). Cale will be graduating with a Masters degree from Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary this Fall and Spring 2023.
Cale is the pastor of Union Baptist Church in Orrick, MO. He is married to his wife Kelly and they have two children (third on the way!). Cale will be graduating with a Masters degree from Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary this Fall and Spring 2023.




Tags:
, , ,