Let's Mourn Together: Loss Needs Community
“I was never alone, God was always with me, you were with me…but how would that have been different if I would have said something … I would have had people to mourn with me and that would’ve made all the difference” (see video below at 30:47-31:10).
In a powerful episode of Why or Why Not with the Watsons, we see the value of living life in community. Whether we are walking in good times or bad times, God has designed and wired humans with the desire and need for community. In this episode, the couple is sharing about the pain they experienced because of a miscarriage.
Why do we keep silent through some of life’s hardest battles? It seems like the times that we need each other the most are the times that we keep quiet, while we hurt alone.
Paul writes, “Bear one another’s burdens…” (Galatians 6:2, NASB) and “Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up, just as you also are doing” (1 Thessalonians 5:11, NASB).
In Galatians 6, Paul is teaching Christians to carry one another through sins, hardship, and pains. In relation to sin, the children of God are used to encourage restoration, forgiveness, and healing (Proverbs 27:5-6). In relation to hardship and pains, we are to be listeners, prayer warriors, biblical counselors, and friends.
It is as much our responsibility to seek the spiritual, physical and emotional conditions of our brothers and sisters in Christ, as it is for them to inform us. Culturally, it is expected to ask, “How are you doing?” While culturally, it is expected to respond, “Fine. How are you?” How often are those moments used for honesty?
If we struggle with compassion when asking that question, then we should ask God to increase our love. Help us, Lord, to see people as You do. John 15:12 reminds us, “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you” (NASB). God answers our prayers when they are aligned with His will (Matthew 7:7). Praying for an increase in love is a prayer that honors God (Mark 12:29-31).
On the other side, why do we keep struggles to ourselves? There are many reasons to carry our burdens alone, but it is important to remember that’s not God’s plan or design.
Often, pride prevents us from vulnerability. Pride quickly derails us and keeps us from achieving our full potential. It can be an obvious sinful mindset, such as thinking, “I don’t want anyone thinking less of me.” However, pride can also come in the form of not wanting to burden others with your problems. On the surface it seems like a good motive, but it is not God’s intent for Christian community.
Another reason that we keep hard situations to ourselves is out of uncertainty. Maybe we don’t know who we can confide in. Sometimes, our problems seem so big that we don’t expect others to be able to understand and help. Therefore, we must plug into local churches, and maybe even pursue professional biblical counseling for certain issues. Even if our friends and family don’t have the words to say, they can pray for us … and there is power in prayer (Psalm 107:28-30)
This list is not exhaustive, but another reason for keeping problems private is because we convince ourselves that we are getting our just deserts. One of the first questions people ask in hardship is, “What did I do to deserve this?” Yes, the imperfections and hardships faced in life are a result of a sinful, fallen world, but not every suffering is brought on by personal sins. Rather, we experience these things because we live in a broken world. Do not let this fallacy of thought prevent you from seeking fellowship, counsel, and healing.
Remember, God loves you and He loves His Church. Be a part of your local church, and not just in attendance. Plug in, love your church family, and entrust one another with hardships and joys that you face.
“And all the believers were together and had all things in common; and they would sell their property and possessions and share them with all, to the extent that anyone had need. Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord was adding to their number day by day those who were being saved” (Acts 2:44-47, NASB).
“Why Loss Needs Community | Episode 8” (Why or Why Not with the Watsons)
